


Paper Gown

by Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis The Third (samwise1327)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: (it's just messy I swear), Allen is a cinnamon roll, Bucket List, Cute, Fluff, Friendship, Hospitals, Illnesses, Light Angst, M/M, No Lavi bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 14:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5052721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwise1327/pseuds/Bonzu%20Pipinpadaloxicopolis%20The%20Third
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen and Lavi have been in a relationship for years, but it's lost its luster. Why? It's complicated. Kanda has been their friend since they were kids, and had always been there for Allen and knows that his feelings go beyond friendship. But when Allen gets sick, and finds himself wilting away from a mysterious illness, Kanda does what any friend would do: Helps Allen finnish his bucket list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paper Gown

_Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock._

Allen bit his lip nervously and fiddled with his hospital gown. Kanda crossed his arms and started at the wall.

“Look, Kanda-“ “

Stop, Allen.”

Allen closed his eyes and turned his head down, “I just wanted to thank you… for coming…”

Kanda was quiet for a moment scowled angrily to the side.

“And that I’m sorry…” Allen closed his eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks.

“Yeah, because he sure as fuck isn’t coming! I just don’t understand what it’s going to take you to realize that he just doesn’t care about you the same way that I do. Why are you even with him?” Kanda said angrily.

A small sob escaped from Allen’s lips. He looked so fragile huddled in his overly sized paper hospital gown, and for a moment Kanda felt guilty. However that guilt soon turned back into frustration as Allen spoke again, “I know he loves me and I care about him too, Kanda.”

Kanda inhaled deeply trying to get his rage under control, “Moyashi, he’s not even here.”

Allen bit his lip again and Kanda knew he was trying not to cry, “He’s away with Bookman working.”

“You’re just making excuses for him, beansprout. He’s not here, and you need him to be.”

“Kanda, that doesn’t mean that I’m not sick, and Lavi not being here won’t make me better.”

There was silence in the room, and Kanda felt a jab of pain through his heart. It was true Allen was sick, and at the moment, nothing was going to change that.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” Kanda said stubbornly.

“Kanda, it has everything to do with it,” Allen whispered, “It will make you miss me less when I’m gone.”

“Bullshit,” Kanda snapped, then more quietly, “Won’t you even give me a chance to love you?”

“Kanda, please don’t,” Allen muttered softly.

“Allen-“

The door swung open and Allen’s doctor, Dr. Reever came in. He smiled at Allen and pulled out his clip board, “Have you felt any different?”

“No.”

The questions went on and on and finally Doctor Reever said, “Mr. Kanda, may I talk to you outside?” Kanda nodded. After the first doctor’s appointment that Allen had with Reever the doctor had assumed that he was Lavi. When he had answered no, the doctor gave him a list of information to give to the redhead because Lavi was listed under closest relative or caretaker or some other shit like that. However after the third consecutive appointment that Kanda escorted Allen to, Reever finally asked if Kanda took care of Allen when Lavi was not home. The man had grilled Allen about his lifestyle to help with treatments and found that Lavi was rarely home. That was how Kanda became Allen’s primary caregiver.

The door quietly closed behind them and Kanda stared blankly at Dr. Reever. Reever did not waist time and began talking about a new medicine that Allen would have to take, “Mr. Kanda, Allen’s weight loss is also an issue.”

Kanda looked sharply at Reever, “How much this time?”

Reever referred to his clipboard, “Your last visit was two weeks ago and Allen has lost seven pounds.”

Kanda’s eyes widened, “You’ve got to be shitting me…”

“No, and this has to change. If Allen doesn’t get the weight back, he will become even weaker and that will make it harder for him to get over this… whatever it is…”

Kanda exhaled deeply through teeth, pinching his nose in frustration, “How much has it escalated?”

“Too much…” Kanda’s stomach leapt painfully in his abdomen.

Reever gripped his shoulder consolingly, “You just need to be there for him.”

“I know.”

“We’ll see you in two weeks, okay?”

“Yeah…” Kanda was left in the blank hallway, staring at the grey tiled floor. Shaking himself awake, he turned around and opened the door to Allen’s exam room.

Allen smiled when Kanda entered, and the smaller male picked up a notebook from the bedside table, “Kanda, you’re going to hate me when I show you this, but I want to share it with you.”

“What?” Kanda asked apprehensively.

“I know I probably don’t have much time left, so I wanted to make a bucket list-” Kanda felt his heart break at Allen’s words. “And I couldn’t think of anyone else who I would want to share it with than you.” Allen handed Kanda the note pad. Scrawled in Allen’s spiky handwriting were the words. BUCKET LIST.

“I want to do them all in the order that I listed them.”

Kanda nodded and kept reading.

 

_Laugh in the rain_

_Make something beautiful_

_Watch an entire R rated scary movie_

_Milk a cow_

_Tell Cross to stuff it_

_Fly on an airplane_

_Share a dance_

_Cry because I’m so happy_

 

 

Kanda smiled at each one, even though some of them were sad smiles, but none of them hit him as hard as the last one-

 

_Be kissed by someone who loves me_

 

So Allen really didn’t feel loved by Lavi. The thought made ripples of anger tear through his body, but the strong emotion was mostly covered by a thick blanket of depression. It was just so sad. He glanced at Allen, but his gaze was not returned as Allen looked out the window, biting his lip. “Moyashi?” No response. “Allen?” Allen looked over at Kanda, and to his surprise, the white haired male had silver tears in his eyes. Kanda stood up and wrapped his arms around his thin and quaking frame, “Allen, I will make sure that everything on this list happens. Everything.”

Once they had pulled away, Allen sniffled, “Thank you, Kanda.”

“However, on any day that Lavi isn’t home, I am either staying in your guest bedroom or you are sleeping at my place, understand? No more of this sleeping alone crap.” Allen nodded silently, rubbing his nose. “Alright, now let’s get your skinny ass out of here.”

Kanda helped Allen out of the hospital bed and held him steady. Fortunately, Allen could still walk, though Doctor Reever did not know how long that would last before the young man became too weak and had to be carted in a wheelchair. Together they walked out of the room and down the hall. They reached the elevator, and Kanda pressed the button. When the door slid open, the pair entered the box and headed down to the ground level. Allen reached over his shoulder and wrapped a boney hand around Kanda’s, which was pushing the wheelchair. Kanda didn’t say anything though. It wasn’t his place to.


End file.
